My Experience 9/11/2001

So, this is something I didn't really want to post as I think my experience pales in comparison to what people who have lost loved ones and those who have lost their lives... But it is important for me as a catharsis to share my experience. First, I want to say How much Bikram Yoga has helped me deal with the pain of 9/11/2001. It also has helped me deal with losing my Mom, Elisa, to brain cancer in June 2005 and what has really been a major loss, my Brother Dr. Theodore Kessler, to Muscular Dystrophy last July 20th...

While the yoga has helped me redefine who I am, it is also the many friends and the community of people I have become friends with, who have really shaped me and changed me to the person who I am today. Please read on...

In 2001 I was running my own catering business called CEO Catering (Catering and Entertainment Organization). I had an office in Soho at 580 Broadway at Prince Street and I had also in May leased a kitchen space at a place called Tribeca Rock Club at 18 Warren Street. It was a perfect space because at that time I was contracted to provide catering for all of the major venues (Hammerstein Ballroom, Beacon Theater, MSG and other major venues) and the kitchen space had many rooms where I could store equipment. It was 3 blocks north of the World Trade Center. My company provided food and other amenities for major rap, rock and miscellaneous music acts such as Radiohead, Janes Addiction, Snoop Dogg and Jay-Z and many others... I was making a lot of money and had a staff of 30 or 40 people.

On the morning 0f 9/11, I had just gotten finished at 2 am the night before catering a concert for a group called Jamiroqui and then on that morning I was contracted to cater a concert for a new boy band called O-Town (whatever happened to them?). After sleeping two hours, I woke up at 5 am to head to my kitchen  near the World Trade Center and then to Hammerstein Ballroom at 34th and 8th Avenue to begin work on an all-day event to provide food and everything to cater a concert...

At around 8 am I was supposed to head down to my kitchen (at 18 Warren Street near WTC) to start supervising prep for lunch and dinner. What would happen that day is I would make two trips back and forth from kitchen to venue to pick up lunch and dinner for all of the performers and the crew as well... that was a regular plan. I was also catering that summer for Central Park Summerstage so I was pretty much always on the road in Manhattan.

At around 8:10 am I was supposed to be relieved by a breakfast chef so I could head down to the WTC area.. but he didnt show up. I  proceeded to cook breakfast on site for the concert crew and then when I was finished was getting ready to go to the kitchen when one of the concer tpromoters said to me "a plane just crashed into the World Trade Center, is that where your kitchen is?" And then he said" what is your plan B?"  


At this point no one knew that it was a terrorist attack as there was no information to ascertain that it was anything but a terrible mistake and mishap  I remember looking around at some of the workers at the Hammerstein  who were joking about it and my thought was " how could they be so callous?"... Then I started to think deeply about the people that were working for me at that kitchen and how they could have been alarmed. I also realized I had an obligation to provide food and services for the Hammerstein as I was under contract to do so. There was no talk about cancellation as this was thought to be a mistake, not a terrorist act... 


After some thought ( I probably looked like President Bush when he first got the news), I decided to head down there and get my staff and pull all of my food out of the kitchen and bring it up to the Hammerstein and pull it (the concert) off. After all, we had all of the equipment at the venue.
So, as I was leaving to head to my rented van, someone said a 2nd plane had struck!  I didn't really think too much about why I was heading down. Some people said don't go because it could be dangerous, but all I was thinking of was my original plan to bring my staff up would have to move forward...no more thoughts.


When I got out of Hammerstein and walked to my van, I remember thinking how beautiful the day was but there was such an ominous feeling in the air. It was surreal... As I was driving down the West Side Highway, I saw a clear picture of the two towers burning and starting to feel an amazing surge of adrenaline. Should I run back and forget it or should I continue on? I was very tired at he same time and when you have adrenaline and no or little sleep, I believe your brain function is simplified: Fight or flight? I decided to head further. 


Speeding down the West Side Highway. I got closer and started to realize how it would be difficult - if not impossible - to make it down there. That made me more determined to make it... As I got closer and closer, I started to see cars racing against me and thought I, being a street smart kid from Brooklyn (or maybe a fool) would get down there against all odds.  As I was heading closer and closer, I saw the South Tower fall and immediately started screaming and crying as I was racing down. Holy fck!  What is going on? Yet, I still continued, thinking I was responsible to:
 A) get my staff out of the kitchen and B) still pull out all of the food and satisfy what I was being contracted to do. Was this a stupid idea? Weren't my staff aware of the situation and probably gone?  Yes and yes but I was still heading down there..


Finally, after getting past dozens of roadblocks and hundreds of police, I parked my van by Borough of Manhattan Community College and proceeded south with a utility cart. All I wanted to do was get down there and get my staff and pull out food and get back out. I was on full adrenaline now and was racing towards the WTC site.... Finally, getting to my kitchen space on 18 Warren (3 blocks north), I rushed into a dark and foreboding space. The debris field from the fall of the South Tower had dissipated somewhat and now I felt I can do this: get my food and rush out. Was this completely selfish of me? All I knew was I had a business responsibility. I knew people had died and were dying but felt this was something beyond my control. And, I didn't think that I was putting myself in harm's way. 


So, after running down to the basement and realizing my staff was gone, I started to run big platters of Salmon, Filet Mignon and all other foods up to a staging area where I would then rush it out... After about 15 minutes, I started to feel the building shaking violently. I was by myself in a dark area that was rocking like it would fall down... panic was starting to set in. Was the building going to fall on me? Was this the end of the world? All of these thoughts started to race and then I looked to the window of the door leading out from the bar to the street. It was pitch black and I was really starting to panic. Stay in a building that was going to fall on me or make a run outside for it? 


The rumbling was so loud that decided to open the door and make a run. As soon as I opened the door, I felt like I was being swallowed with dust. this was the debris field that I had walked right into. Quickly blinded and unable to breath, I decided to run to the left. I had sandals on and immediately ran into a car and lost my sandal and fell. Gasping for air and realizing I was all alone on the block, I said out loud ..."fck, is this how I am going to die? Really?"
Finally getting my shoe back on, I ran up the block at top speed where I was finally doused with a huge bucket of water by people at Broadway and Warren Streets. Then I knew: this was a incredible disaster of the utmost magnitude. I walked around and noticed police panicking and running while they were trying to do the job they were trained to do. I saw the fear in their eyes and said to myself.. "this is like Armegeddon and what the end of the world must feel like."


After a few blocks being urged to walk north, I remember walking by the firehouse and seeing firefighters balling and crying like babies. It was seared into my memory and something I will never forget....
In subsequent days, I volunteered for the Red Cross, shipped all of my food that was at  Hammerstein Ballroom to the Javits Center for WTC supplies and basically walked around in a daze. I had access to the World Trade Center site and subsequently found another kitchen space and resumed doing concerts for the company, Metropolitan Entertainment (now AEG). The first concert we did was at Hammerstein Ballroom and was a benefit headed by Jay-Z. He was popular then but not the way he was now... 


But I wasnt the same. I was nervous and shaken and even more saddened to learn one of my friends and part-time security guard Firefighter Keith Glascoe had died... I was shaken and realized how close I had come to losing my life for something I could have avoided but other people ran into knowing full well they were risking their life for no monetary gain... I thought what was doing was the right thing though.. you can judge that though. I was taught by my parents to finish a job, although not by risking my life...


It is hard for me this time of year as it is the end of the summer. I have lost my mother and brother over the past five years in the summer months and the culmination of the anniversary of 9/11 makes it difficult. But it is difficult for every person who has lost loved ones and all we can do is honor them abd grieve with them. and stay strong as they would have wanted us to.


So all I can say is thanks to my Mother and Brother who worried about me that day. They depended upon me much of their life and I was glad I stayed alive so I could see them through their  happy and dark days. 
I will never forget the memories of 9/11. Importantly, it was around that time, I started practicing Bikram Yoga. 
So, a few days after 9/11 I found myself wandering in Soho and knowing I needed to take a class. I found my teacher Raffael there and I will never forget the emotions I felt taking that first class after 9/11... that is where my practice began. Forged in emotion and pain, I now teach to help people deal with some of their issues. 


It was meant to be that way... please comment 


Love, Bruce
9/9/2011










Bruce Kessler a/k/a Hot Yoga Dude